Monday, July 21, 2008

Some things I've learned while staying at a hotel.

1. The little bottles of shampoo and lotion need to be put away. Someplace high. If you don't you will be cleaning up their contents when the children pour them all over the counters.

2. Wallpaper is not child proof.

3. Metal garbage cans can and will be used as helmets. Its perfectly fine. As long as they don't start throwing them onto the glass table.

4. There is a reason that the carpet is multi-colored and ugly.

5. Ditto with the bedspreads.

6. A desk chair with solid wood arms is heavy enough to knock the wind out of a 22 month old, but not heavy enough to crack a rib.

7. If you have more than one bed in a room, (like say 2 full size beds) you may just see your 3 year old (or other small child) fly through the air. It's a requirement, especially for boys.

8. Armed with 6 couch pillows, 4 chairs from the dining table and 4 towels, kids can create and play a numerous amount of imaginary games that can last up to 2 hours.

9. Curtains can double as swings. They can hold 33 lbs easily without being disattached from their rods.

10. A hotel with a heated pool can be a lifesaver. When there is nothing else to do in a rainy, cold city, take the kids up for a swim.

11. Toilets in a hotel can be stopped up just as easily as the ones at home. Watch for kids to feed toilet paper into the bowl for no reason.

12. Toilets are also perfectly good places for bath towels. Just make sure to take it out before actually "taking care of business".

13. The headboards for the beds which are seemingly attached very well to the walls, are not. It is possible to dismantle them. It is also amazing to see how strong your 3 year old is while he is holding one end of it up so that it doesn't come crashing down on him.

14. While standing out in the hall it is possible to hear screaming kids that are inside the room.

15. Quickly set limits for the stove. Kids can easily access the knobs, and will turn them on at least half a dozen times before it sinks in that the stove is on the DO NOT TOUCH list.

16. There is nothing else on the do not touch list.

17. Lamps are fun.

18. Even after you go to the store and buy toys for the kids to play with, lamps are still fun.

19. Make sure to always keep the room keys in your pocket, especially if you have adjoining rooms. Kids will make a game out of closing doors. Even still, you will get locked out of one of the rooms.

20. And finally, balls and lamps do not mix. There can still be plenty of light left in the room, if you turn on all the remaining working lamps.

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Anonymous said...

You have learned some good lessons!
About young Misters quote of the day. Is he being Sparticus or Sporticus??? I'm confused.. Don't know who Sporticus is..

I'm so glad that the headboard did not fall on him and that there were NO cracked ribs. Both of those would have been really bad!


Anonymous said...

What an education! LOL...I love it!!

THopgood said...

LMAO! Thanks for the tips!

HappyHourSue said...

Hotel beds = trampoline fun.

Dude, you have a Sportacus obsession too???????? (I mention him in a post called crushing On Steve) Do you know there are Sportacus fan vids on youtube made by moms???? It's awesome and hilarious.

Carol said...

Sounds like a truly educational experience. I couldn't help but laugh.

Hope you're all surviving.

Oh and when I stopped by last week from pow I loved your new blog design so much I dropped Ragan a line and she prettified mine too.

Susan said...

Oh my! That sounds like one adventurous and "entertaining" hotel stay. Glad you survived it!

Mamasphere said...

Holy Moley! So far traveling with my one hasn't been that bad, but maybe we need to hold off on adding another until we're sure we'll never be in another hotel room again!

McMommy said...

Your list is HILARIOUS!! And believe me, I know it's ALL TRUE!!

happy pow!!