Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Something wrong?

I've often wondered if there is something wrong with my son. And by wrong, I mean some sort of behavioral thing. He is soo bad on soo many days I can barely breathe. He won't listen to one single thing I say. Honestly. For me, he is the worst. He acts without a care in the world, he behaves as if there are no consequences. And that is not the case. I have to remove him from his sister sometimes, as he jumps right on her. He is in the hallway right now crying, because he kicked his sister in the head/face.

I don't know what could be the problem. Maybe he just needs organized activities, or preschool. He never behaved better than when he used to go to daycare. I miss it so. I only began to have problems when we took him out. I think he gets bored. I also have no idea why he would act like a totally different kid when other people are taking care of him.

This has even proven true once again, as I have recently taken him to a new baby sitter's home. She told me that he was good. Not a word that I would use to describe my son. Because every single day is a chore with him. He does not pick up his toys, he does not stop doing something (anything) bad that he is currently in the middle of doing. He will repeat an act over and over again.

He is strong willed, and highly energetic. I don't know what to do with him. The days that I don't have something planned for us are immensely difficult. He irritates everyone in the house. It's sad to say, but it's true.

Anyway, I just wanted to vent. He is having a few difficult moments presently. And Eddie just told me, "Uncle Pat was mean to me." Unfortunately, my nearly 4 year old is not old enough to understand his own behavior or how it affects others. What he does understand, is when a family member is changing their behavior towards him. And his feelings were hurt.

One would think that the adult in this situation would adjust and try to be a little understanding. Try to remember that this little person, though irritating in the moment, is only a child. Instead of just being curt, and pushing the child out the door, or telling him to go away. Because that child is getting on his nerves. One would think. That did not happen in this case. And this is not the first time.

The last time I broached this subject with Eddie's pediatrician he gave me a bunch of forms to look through and papers with tons of questions to evaluate him. All of the questions did not apply to my son. They were all geared towards a school aged child. I haven't brought the subject up again, Eddie is still pretty much the same. And I still wonder if he might have some sort of ADD, ADHD, or something of the like. My dh says he is just a really hyper and active boy. One that needs a lot of exercise and play time.

I wonder about each and every one of my friends who are mothers of boys. I wonder if they too think that their sons are insanely difficult. Because, that's the best way I can put it. I think about it, very often.

10 comments:

Hot Tub Lizzy said...

Oh my... change the he's to she's and Eddie to Essie and I could have written this post. Essie's never been "diagnosed" with anything... but being her mom is a challenge. A beautiful challenge. I see so many beautiful things in her... but her actions cause others not to see them sometimes... And her actions sometimes push me straight to the edge.

I don't have any wonderfully wise words. Just know that I know.

Steph said...

personally I think boys are more difficult when they're smaller...my son evan, who's 10 now has just recently turned a corner in his behavior. I have two other sons so I kind of knew what to expect but he was sooo different. my oldest son (who's 18 now) was diagnosed with ADD in 4th grade but I knew it wasn't that for evan. we had him evaluated over the summer and he was diagnosed with an impulse control disorder (which sounds like all boys have!). he's been in therapy since then but I know that wouldn't have helped when he was your son's age. he's a straight A student in school and never gets in trouble in controlled situations...but in the cafeteria, on the bus, walking between classes...different story but he's much better now and I'm not exactly sure why. I would suggest finding a pediatric psychologist to do an evaluation...just for your own piece of mind, esp if your insurance covers it. and as exhausting as it is...be consistent in consequences for him. and adopt my mantra...this too shall pass!

Casey said...

I have a little boy in my class who is basically a perfect angel for me. He has only been in trouble 1 day this entire year. However, as soon as his Mom shows up or at home, he is INSANE! I'm talking running around like a wild banchee.

Maybe it's just a present from little boys to their mothers. Girls are tougher in the teenage years. :)

graceunderautism said...

tough call. Tricare does cover pediatric psychiatrists and you dont need a referral...no guarantee you will get an appointment before you need to leave.

J does have ADHD along with his Autism.

Little J has not been diagnosed with anything but he is very much as you described Eddie. And several other boys in the same age range in the military mammaz give their moms just as hard a time.

Email me if you want the name of our psych.

Julie said...

oh honey, he's all boy! And I'd say the young age has something to do with it. it's a phase! P.S. I like your new blog look.

♥ spoiled mommy ♥ said...

love the new blog look!!

ok...i dont think anything is wrong i think its just boy behavior. mine was and still is the same way. my husbnd and i feel so guilty for always yelling at him for stuff-ugh!!!
my girls have been so much easier than he has been so far...im STILL hoping for a change!

Laural Out Loud said...

It's probably him just being a boy, but have you thought about food allergies? When Gabi has too much sugar, she goes crazy, all day long. When I limit her sugar, she's as sweet as can be. Of course my MIL doesn't believe it and has been plying her with loads of sweets since we've been in Brasil, so I've been dealing with a totally wild child and can't wait to get home!

Shannon said...

As the mom of 2 girls, I couldn't say if his behavior is just him "being a boy"...

but maybe you have stumbled upon something... about him being "bored"? Since he's not in preshcool?

Mama Smurf said...

I've had similar concerns with my second. I haven't officially had him evaluated because it's not affecting his school work. You'll get through it. The teachers will give you a better idea. Maybe he's just bored. Maybe he misses his daddy?

Amanda (pixiejules) said...

I could have written your post word for word about Ethan. *sigh* I am beginning to wonder if something is wrong myself. How long can you use the excuse "that he's all boy" ?? Why does that make it okay anyway?? Blah.